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October 14 歌..夜靜的燈火 照樣感覺美麗
浪漫是月半 暗淡卻剩留餘暉 思想找不到終止 人完全不知所以 獨站在夜深街角 慣性地感染冷漠 無人能明白 我想帶著淚而狂歌 ! 跌破的夢兒 仍殘留一堆一堆諷刺 不知所以...
一生一次 可否真一次.. September 17 Day 6 - Love believes the bestDay 6 - Sep 17 Love believes the best
Believes all things, hopes all things. – - 1 Corinthians 13:7
In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It’s called the Appreciation Room. It’s where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place.
On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. These may include characteristics like “honest” and “intelligent”, or phrases like “diligent worker”, “wonderful cook”, or “beautiful eyes”. They are things you’ve discovered about your husband or wife that have embedded themselves in your memory. When you think about these things, your appreciation for your spouse begins to increase. In fact, the more time you spend mediating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your mate.
Most things in the Appreciation Room were likely written in the initial stages of your relationship. You could summarize them as things you liked and respected about your loved one. They were true, honorable, and good. And you spent a great deal of time dwelling on them in this room…before you were married. But you may have found that you don't visit this special room as often as you once did. That's because there is another competing room nearby.
Down another darker corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, and unfortunately you visit there as well.
On its walls are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and the disappointment of unmet expectations.
This room is lined with the weakness and failures of your husband or wife. Their bad habits, hurtful words, and poor decisions are written in large letters that cover the walls from one end to the other. If you stay in this room long enough, you get depressed and start expressing things like, “My wife is so selfish,” or “My husband can be such a jerk.” Or maybe, “I think I married the wrong person.”
Some people write very hateful things in this room, where tell-off statements are rehearsed for the next argument. Emotional injuries fester here, adding more scathing remarks to the walls. It’s where ammunition is kept for the next big fight and bitterness is allowed to spread like a disease. People fall out of love here.
But know this. Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room and violent plans are schemed. The more time you spend in this place, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moment you walk in the door, and your care for them lessens with every second that ticks by.
You may say, “But these things are true!” Yes, but so are the things in the Appreciation Room. Everyone fails and has areas that need growth. Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and personal baggage. This is a sad aspect of being human. We have all sinned. But we have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting our partner’s failures under a magnifying glass.
Let’s get down to the real issue here. Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists.
But love chooses not to live there.
You must decide to stop running to this room and lingering there after every frustrating event in your relationship. It does you no good and drains the joy out of your marriage.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.
It’s time to start thinking differently. It’s time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. And the only reason you should ever go in this room is to write “COVERED IN LOVE” in huge letters across the walls.
It’s time to move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. As you choose to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls. Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you.
You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not.
TODAY’S DARE
FOR TODAY’S DARE, GET TWO SHEETS OF PAPER. ON THE FIRST ONE, SPEND A FEW MINUTES WRITING OUT POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. THEN DO THE SAME WITH NEGATIVE THINGS ON THE SECOND SHEET. PLACE BOTH SHEETS IN A SECRET PLACE FOR ANOTHER DAY. THERE IS A DIFFERENT PURPOSE AND PLAN FOR EACH. AT SOME POINT DURING THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY, PICK A PSITIVE ATTRIBUTE FROM THE FIRST LIST AND THANK YOUR SPOUSE FOR HAVING THIS CHARACTERISTIC.
______ check here when you have completed today’s dare.
Which list was easier to make? What did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank you spouse for having?
If there is anything praiseworthy- mediate on these things. (Philippians 4:8) September 15 Love is satisfied in GodDay 5 - Sep 15 Love is satisfied in God
The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. – - Isaiah 58:11
Love is Jesus is vitally important in the Love Dare – and in your life. You come face to face with the glaring need of every human heart. And perhaps for the very first time, you become aware of how personal this need really is. You may have realized that nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources could repair the damage that sin leaves, and that Jesus is the only One who can supply what you’ve been missing. If you’ve received Him by faith and have turned your life over to Him to manage and lead, then His Holy Spirit is renewing your heart. His wisdom, grace, and power can now be released into every thing you do. Including, not the least, your marriage.
But whether this is new territory for you or if you’ve been a follower of Jesus for quite a while, now is the time for you to firm up one thing in your mind: You need God every single day. This is not a part-time proposition. He alone can satisfy, even when all else fails you.
Your husband may be late coming home. Again. But God will always be right on time.
Your wife may let you down. Again. But God can always be trusted to deliver on His promises.
Everyday you place expectations on your spouse. Sometimes they meet them. Sometimes they don’t. But never will they be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them – partly because some of your demands are unreasonable, partly because your mate is human.
God, however, is not. And those who approach Him in utter dependence each day for the real needs in their life are the ones who find out just how dependable He is.
Can your spouse give you an inner peace? No. But God can. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Can your spouse enable you to be content no matter what life throws at you? No. But God can. “In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled…I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:12-13).
There are needs in your life only God can fully satisfy. Though your husband or wife is able to complete some of these requirements- at least now and then – only God is able to do it all. Your need for love. Your need for acceptance. Your need for Joy. It’s time to stop expecting somebody or something to keep you functioning and fulfilled on a non-stop basis. Only God can do that as you learn to depend on Him. But He wants to do it His way. “My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
The needs of love, peace, and adequacy are real. No one is saying you shouldn't have them. But rather than plugging into things that are unstable at best and are subject to change – your health, your money, even the affections and best intentions of your mate – plug into God instead. He’s the only One in your life that can never change. His faithfulness, His truth, and His promises to His children will always remain. That’s why you need to seek Him every day.
Our only reason for not doing this is because we really don't trust God to supply what we need. And yet the Bible says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart” (psalm 37:4). When we are seeking Him first, loving Him first, making our relationship with Him top priority, He promises to supply us with what we really need – which, actually, is all it really takes to satisfy us.
Jesus once spoke to a woman at a Samaritan well, a woman who had tried getting her needs met through a string of failed relationships. With both her life and water bucket empty, she had come to this place broken and hardened yet still desperately in need. But in Christ she found what He called “living water” (John 4:10) – a supply that wasn't just for quenching temporary thirst. What He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving and refreshing. And that is what’s available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed, no matter who your spouse is or what they’ve done to you.
God is your everyday supply. Of everything you need.
TODAY’S DARE
BE INTENTIONAL TODAY ABOUT MAKING A TIME TO PRAY AND READ YOUR BIBLE. TRY READING A CHAPTER OUT OF PROVERBS EACH DAY (THERE ARE THIRTY-ONE – A FULL MONTH’S SUPPLY), OR READING A CHAPTER IN THE GOSPELS. AS YOU DO, IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE LOVE AND PROMISES GOD HAS FOR YOU. THIS WILL ADD TO YOUR GROWTH AS YOU WALK WITH HIM.
______ check here when you have completed today’s dare.
How do you think spending time daily with God will change your situation and perspective? How can you make Him a bigger part of your day?
You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. (Psalm 145:16) September 14 Day 4 - Love is faithful Day 4 - Sep 14
Love is faithful
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord – - Hosea 2:20
As Christians, love is the basis of our whole identity. Our spiritual rebirth came about because “ God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
When asked to clarify what the greatest commandments of all were, Jesus answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart…your soul…your strength… your mind… and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).
Our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinguish us as Christ’s disciples (John I 3:17). It is the root and ground of our existence (Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (I Peter 4:8). It is a quality that we are to “abound” in more and more (I Thessalonians 3:12), always getting better at it, becoming increasingly defined by it.
So if love is what we were created to share, what do you do when your love is rejected? How do you handle it when the one to whom you’ve pledged your life stops accepting the love you’re called to give?
The account of the prophet Hosea is one of the most remarkable in the Bible. Against all logic and proprietary, God instructed him to marry a prostitute. He wanted Hosea’s marriage to show what Heaven’s unconditional love looks like towards us. Hosea’s union with Gomer produced three children but, as expected, this women who had long made her living in immorality was not content to stay faithful to one man. So Hosea was left to deal with a broken heart and the shame of abandonment.
He has loved her, but she had spurned his love. They had grown close, but now she had been disloyal and adulterous, rejecting him for the lust of total strangers.
Time passed, and God spoke to Hosea again. God told him to go and reaffirm his love for this woman who had been repeatedly unfaithful. This time she had reached a new low and had to be bought off the slave block, but Hosea paid the price for her redemption and brought her home. Yes, she had treated his love with contempt. She had dealt treacherously with his heart. But he welcomed her back into his life, expressing an unconditional love.
This is a true story, but it was used as a picture of God’s love for us. He showers His favour on us without measure, though in return we often don't pay attention. At times we have acted shamefully and deemed His love an intrusion, as if it’s keeping us from what we really want. We have rejected Him in many ways – even after receiving His gift of eternal salvation – and yet He still loves us. He still remains faithful.
Even so, His love doesn't keep Him from calling us to account for our mistreatment of Him. We pay more of a price for our rejection than we often realize. Yet He still chooses to respond with grace and mercy. “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace” (Ephesians I:7). In Him we have the model of what rejected love does. It stays faithful.
Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount. He said to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28)
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same” (Luke 6:32-33).
“Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil mean” (Luke 6:35).
From the vantage point of the wedding altar, you would never have dreamed that the person you married might later become to you a kind of “enemy”, one you would need to love as an act of almost total sacrifice. And yet far too often in marriage, the relationship does indeed dwindle down to that level. Even to the point of betrayal or, sadly, to unfaithfulness.
For many, this is the beginning of the end. Some respond by rapidly moving toward a tragic divorce. Others, more protective of their reputation than even their own happiness, decide to keep the charade going. But they have no intention of liking it – much less of loving each other again.
This is not the model, however, for the follower of Christ. If love is to be like His, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted. And for your love to be like that, it must be His love to begin with.
You can give underserved love to your spouse because God gave undeserved love to you – repeatedly, enduring. Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least.
Ask Him to fill you with the kind of love only He can provide, then purpose to give it to your mate in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you. That’s the beauty of redeeming love. That’s the power of faithfulness.
TODAY’S DARE
LOVE IS A CHOICE, NOT A FEELING. IT IS AN INITIATED ACTION, NOT A KNEE-JERK REACTION. CHOOSE TODAY TO BE COMMITTED TO LOVE EVEN IF YOUR SPOUSE HAS LOST MOST OF THEIR INTEREST IN RECEIVING IT. SAY TO THEM TODAY IN WORDS SIMILAR TO THESE, “I LOVE YOU. PERIOD. I CHOOSE TO LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME IN RETURN.”
______ check here when you have completed today’s dare.
Why is this kind of love impossible without the love of Christ beating in your heart? How does His presence within you enable you to love, even when it’s primarily one-sided?
I have chosen the faithful way. (Psalm 119:30)
September 13 Day 3 - Love ForgivesDay 3 / Sep 13 Love Forgives
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ – - 2 Corinthians 2:10
This one is tough – perhaps the toughest dare in the book. But if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a regular basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put into practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage wont.
Jesus painted a vivid image of forgiveness in His parable of the ungrateful servant. A man who owed a sizable sum of money was surprised when his master heard his appeals for mercy and totally canceled his debt. But upon being released from this enormous load, the servant did a most unexpected thing: he went to another man who owed hum a smaller amount and demanded immediate payment. When the master heard of it, things changed dramatically in his arrangement with the slave. “His lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him” (Matthew 18:34). A day that had begun with joy and relief ended in grief and hopelessness.
Torture. Prison. When you think of unforgiveness, this is what should come to your mind, for Jesus said, “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35)
Imagine you find yourself in a prison-like setting. As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you’re standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there – people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.
This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.
No. You don’t want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway – even your spouse, the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You’re unwilling to stay here any longer – seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He’s asking you to do. It’s just too much.
But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way pit. You’re trapped inside with all the other captives. Your unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prison of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus’ story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness.
Coming to this conclusion usually takes us a while. We see all kinds of dangers and risks involved in forgiving others. For instance, what they did was really wrong, whether they admit it or not. They may not even be sorry about it. They may feel perfectly justified in their actions, even going so far as to blame you for it. But forgiveness doesn’t absolve anyone of blame. It doesn’t clear their record with God, It just clears you of having to worry how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose. You’re just turning them over to God., who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You’re saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It’s not about winning or losing anymore. It’s about freedom. It’s about letting go.
That’s why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven say, “It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.” Yes, that’s exactly what it is. It’s like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart. The stale dankness of the prison house is flooded with light and coolness. For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You feel free.
But how do you do it? You release your anger and the responsibility for judging this person to the Lord. “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
How do you know you’ve done it? You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their faces- rather than causing your blood to boil – causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.
There’s so much more that could be said and so many emotional issues you may need to fight through to get there. But great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep “no record of wrongs” (I Corinthians 13:5).
TODAY’S DARE
WHATEVER YOU HAVEN'T FORGIVEN IN YOUR MATE, FORGIVE IT TODAY. LET IT GO. JUST AS WE ASK JESUS TO “FORGIVE US OUR DEBT” EACH DAY, WE MUST ASK HIM TO HELP US FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS” EACH DAY AS WELL. UNFORGIVENESS HAS BEEN KEEPING YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE IN PRISON TOO LONG. SAY FROM OUR HEART, “I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE”.
______ check here when you have completed today’s dare.
What did you forgive your spouse for today? How long have you been carrying the weight of it? What are the possibilities now that you’ve released this matter to God?
Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)
September 11 Day 2 - Love is impossibleDay 2 / Sep 11
Love is impossible
Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God – - 1 John 4:7
The Love Dare starts with a secret. You might likely grow more and more suspicious of it. It is a secret you are discovering for yourself, even if you haven’t exactly know how to put it into words.
The secret is this: you cannot manufacture unconditional love out of your own heart. It’s impossible. It’s beyond your capabilities. It’s beyond all our capabilities.
You may have demonstrated kindness and unselfishness in some form, and you may have learnt to be more thoughtful and considerate. But sincerely loving someone unselfishly and unconditionally is another matter altogether.
So how can you do it? Like it or not, unconditional love isn’t something you can do. It’s something only God can do. But because of His greatest love for you – and His love for your spouse – He choose to express His love through you.
Still, you may not believe that. You may be convinced that with enough hard work and commitment, you can muster up unconditional, long term, sacrificial love from your own heart. You want to believe it’s in you.
But how many times has your love failed to keep you from lying, from lusting, from overreacting, from thinking evil of this person you’ve vowed before God to love?
How many times has your love proven incapable of controlling your anger? How many times has your love motivated you to forgive or brought about a peaceful end to an ongoing argument?
It’s this failure that exposes mankind’s sinful condition. We’ve all fallen short of God’s commands (Roman 3:23). We’ve all demonstrated selfishness, hatred, and pride. And unless something is done to cleanse us of these ungodly attributes, we will stand before God guilty as charged (Roman 6:23). That’s why if you’re not right with God, you can’t truly love your spouse because He is the Source of that love.
You cant give what you don’t have. You cant call up inner reserves and resources that aren’t there to be summoned. In the same way that you cant give away a million dollars if you don’t have it to start with, you cannot pay out love in greater measure than you own. You can try, but you will fail.
So the hard news is this: love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you’re only looking within yourself to find it. You need someone who can give you that kindof love.
“Love is from God” (I John 4:7). And only those who have allowed Him into their heart through faith in His Son, Jesus – only those who have received the Spirit of Christ through belief in His Death and Resurrection – are able to tap into love’s real power. “Apart from me,” Jesus said, “You can do nothing” (John I 5:5).
But He also said, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (John I 5:7). God has promised through Christ to dwell in your heart through faith so that you can “know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19 )
When you surrender yourself to Christ, His power can work through you. Even at your very best, you are not able to live up to God’s standards. But He “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us” (Ephesians 3:20). That’s how you love your spouse.
So this unsettling secret – as defeating as it may feel – has a happy ending for those who will stop resisting and will receive the love God has for them. This means that the love He has “poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Roman 5:5) is always available, every time we choose to submit to it.
You simply wont be able to do it without Him.
Perhaps you’ve never given your heart to Christ, but you sense Him drawing you today. You may be realizing for the first time that you , too, have broken God’s commands. And that your guilt will keep you from knowing Him. But Scripture says that if you repent by turning away from your sin and turning to God, He is willing to forgive you because of the sacrifice His Son made on the cross. He is pursuing you, not to enslave you but to free you, so you can receive His love and forgiveness. Then you can share it with the one you’ve been called most specifically to love.
Perhaps you’re already a believer, but you would admit that you have walked away from fellowship with God. You’re not in the Word, you’re not in prayer, maybe you’re not even in church anymore. The love you used to feel coursing through your veins had dwindled into apathy.
The truth is, you cant live without Him and you cant love without Him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage if you put your trust in Him.
TODAY’S DARE
Look back over from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.
______ check here when you have completed today’s dare.
What do you believe God is saying to you? Is there a stirring in your heart? What decision have you made in response to this?
This is impossible, but with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26)
September 10 Day 1 - Love is patientDay 1 / Sep 10
Love is patient
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love – - Ephesians 4:2 NIV
Love works. Its life’s most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lung need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it.
Love is built on 2 pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these 2 attributes. And that's where your dare will begin. With patience.
Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.
No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that it spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lips, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil to evil.
If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine.
Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness or evil motives.
Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn't rush into judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment. The Bible says, “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29)
As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peace and quiet. “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute ” (Proverbs 15:18). Statements like these from the Bible book of Proverbs are clear principles with timeless relevance. Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthy.
Patience helps you to give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.
But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demanding lecture that makes her feel like a child? Can he know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won’t invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time? It turns out few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person.
What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another” (I Thessalonians 5:15)
Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their relationships. That's a good starting point to demonstrate true love.
This Love Dare journey is a process, and the first thing you must resolve to possess is patience. Think f it as a marathon, not a sprint. But it's a race with running.
TODAY’S DARE
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For today, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
______ check here when you have completed today’s dare.
Did anything happen today to cause anger towards your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words? The Love Darehttp://wongh97.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!F8A6FD3F007D2BE1!1425.entry
Caleb: It is not working. How come I never get respected in my own house?
Another: I have been there, It is a hard place to be
Caleb: What did you do about it?
Another: I realize it is not my marriage is broken, I just didnt know how to make it work
Another: All right, she does need to respect you. But remember this, women is like a rose, if you treat her right, she will bloom. If you dont, she will wilt.
The Love Dare
This book is about love, it’s about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The bible says that ‘ the heart is more deceitful than all else”, and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.
Receive this as a warning. This Forty Day Journey cannot be taken lightly.
We dare you to think differently – choosing instead to lead your heart towards that which is the best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.
The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You have no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband/wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, it is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.
It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and a steadfast determination. It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits. If you will commit to a day at a time for 40 days, the result could change your life and relationship
Remember, you have the responsibility to protect and guide your heart. Don’t give up and don’t get discouraged. Resolve to lead your heart and make it thru to the end. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.
Consider it a dare, from others who have done it before you.
At The 20th Day
At The 43rd
Day
So, what day are
you on?
Forty-three.
There's only 40. Who says I have to stop? Caleb... ...I don't know how
to process this.
This is not normal
for you.
Welcome to the new normal. You didn't wanna do this at first, did you? No. But halfway
through, I realized...
...that I did not
understand what love was.
And once I
understood that,
I wanted to do it. Caleb, I want to believe that this is real. But I am not ready
to say that I trust you again.
I understand that. But whether you
ever reach that point or not...
...I need you to
understand something.
I am
sorry.
I have been so
selfish.
For the past seven
years, I have trampled on you...
...with my words
and with my actions.
I have loved other
things when I should have loved you.
In the last few
weeks...
...God has given me
a love for you that I had never had before.
And I have asked
him to forgive me.
And I am hoping, I
am praying...
...that
somehow
you would be able to forgive me too.
September 01 「 忍 」 太 被 動 ?
July 28 Family TreeI'm gonna be the owner of the world for a little while and it feels like I am flying Everybody's waving in the crowd to get a smile but they never saw me crying Even when we dance across the floor and everyone is calling out for more Somewhere in your heart you feel alone Hold my hand tonight and show me what is right Make my life complete below the family tree Take away my fear and tell me you'll be there We will always stay together I will always know you care Everybody's talking right behind my back and I don't care what people are thinking - no But in a little corner of my mind it's getting tough when the moving lights are twinkling Hold my hand tonight and show me what is right Make my life complete below the family tree When the heavy curtain falls I know where I belong I could never walk away from you When the everyday life calls I'm gonna sing our song July 26 I'm gonna be aroundIt's been so long since we took the time to share words from deep inside us We're in our own world spinning our wheels but you know how I feel since the first time I took your hand my love for you has just been growing You always seem to understand You know how I am When you're alone cause I'm away don't be sad don't be afraid I'm gonna turn my thoughts to you like I always do Gonna be your very true friend Catch you when you fall Hold you when you’re down Sharing every moment I wanna show you all I do I believe I’ve found a miracle in you I'm gonna love you til the end I'm gonna be your very true friend I wanna share your ups and downs I'm gonna be around June 27 " I Still Believe In You "I believed in fairy tales
Other dreams may turn to dust Inner VoiceOcean deep Love cant you see I'm alone Cant you give this fool a chance A little love is all I ask - a little kindness In the night Please dont leave me behind No - dont tell me love is blind A little love is all I ask and that is all Oh love Ive been searching so long Ive been searching highnlow A little love is all I ask - a little sadness When youre gone Maybe you need a friend Only please dont lets pretend A little love is all I ask and that is all I wanna spread my wings - but I just cant fly As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by Ocean deep - Im so afraid to show my feelings I have sailed a million ceilings - in my - Solitary room Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover Maybe she has found another And as I cry myself to sleep I know this love of mine Ill keep - ocean deep Love cant you hear when I call Cant you hear a word I say A little love is all I ask A little feeling when we touch Why am I still alone? Ive got a heart without a home A little love is all I ask - and that is all I wanna spread my wings - but I just cant fly As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by Ocean deep - Im so afraid to show my feelings I have sailed a million ceilings - in my - Solitary room Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover Maybe she has found another And as I cry myself to sleep I know this love of mine Ill keep - ocean deep Im so lonely lonely lonely... Maybe.. April 20 It hurts, but there is a future.Looking back,
no matter it is meant to be with her in long term or not,
it is good to be forced to have a break now and learn to rely back on god.
In past few months I have relied nearly all on my own limited effort and on her emotionally,
but nearly never on GOD.
No matter how hard I try,
I keep making simular mistakes and hurting the girl I love.
God's help and his involvement is necessary
I should always seek for his guidance in my every step.
Without him, I can't be a good man,
I can't be a good lover,
I cant even be myself.
Now it is hurt and depressing in someway, but it seems to be a curing process.
A curing process to help to rely back on GOD.
It hurts, no doubt,
but there is a future.
A brighter one. |
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